Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Working on lyrics

I've been listening to Eminem songs lately (OK, don't judge me!) because - even through the language - he is honest. His heart and soul are in every word. For a while now the only thing that's motivated me to write is my own feelings, which is probably why I'm attracted to his music. However, I found his Marshall's hypocrisy saddening. Many of his lyrics are about his love for his family despite his and their failure. I'm not judging him in any way, but he seems to be saying "I love you so much, but not enough to change. So I hope you think of me fondly."
 As a Christian, I'm not obligated to my old sinful nature. There is victory in Christ to move beyond myself and the constant self-focus that may be the root of Eminem's stagnant progress.
 I sat down on my bed with my trusty pen and old battered notebook, and jotted these down. Definitely in need of editing, and it's obviously not finished, but here you go:

I've been thinking like this pen and paper's my only companion
But oh wait, has it been?
I choose to refuse to open up to those closest to home
I say they've failed me before
Oh yeah, well who hasn't
We're all in the same place, we're all social hazards
I do it to you, you do it to me, but you've always cared and been there
So I guess I've just refused to see
I've been living selfishly with this notebook all to myself
Grieving alone like I don't want to hurt no more, I push you out
This self-pity glues me down
I can't get out, and I keep writing these songs like they'll set me free
But baby could it be
That the more I listen to the sound of the words of my mouth run out
The more I'm trapped in their sound
The more self-focus abounds
So if I were to listen to the music from the hearts of others
Tell me could I recover
If I chose to reuse my experience and learn from the hurt
Maybe others wold start doing the same but even if they don't
We're still in the same boat
We've all been used or abused, chewed out or called the issue
So I'll skip the tissue
I've been reliving for too long; self-evaluating in every song
I can acknowledge what I'm feeling without substituting words for people
See the church and the steeple
We're all a bunch of hypocrites lying and evil, needing love
Thank God love is enough
My past is pathetic, I regret it, but look where I'm headed!
I turn my eyes ahead and off of my scars and myself
Because my card has been dealt
My old self is already in hell but the new me's homeward bound
I lay me in the ground every morning and yet I live
Because Christ is within
Reflection is essential for grown but not a way to live

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